It is very very strange for a person like me to have this much energy. This probably sounds pathetic to most people, but I'm the sort of person that is very lethargic, and does very little in my life. I don't get around much, I don't move around much. Yet today, and right now even! I feel vibrant and energetic. This is an anomaly for me. How is it that food can affect me this much? It's even affecting my depression! I swear, it is. I just feel... ok. That's not normal for me. Call me crazy, but I've been diagnosed as agoraphobic, social phobic, bipolar, manic depressive, severe depressive, you name it... all this stupid shit for someone of my age. I had one therapist walk a mall with me because I was so afraid of people.
I went to fucking Wal Mart today, on Super Bowl weekend, and I was OK. Now to most people that's life, to me... a big deal. I mean that shit was crowded! The lines were insane. People were bumping into people. Almost stupid even. That's probably why I haven't held a job in so long. I can't take the crowd factor without panicking. But I was okay today. I even held the forte (line) for my mum while she last minute shopped. This is so godamn ordinary for other people, but it's a great, huge mcdeal for me. I'm the sort of person who lives in their parents' basement for years and years. Here I was, interacting with the normal world! I might even get a normal job and get a place of my own.